Part of parenting is chauffeuring our kids around to various activities. With COVID-19, schools have moved online and activities have ground to a halt. I hardly fill up the gas tank of my vehicle, anymore, and it’s a 2.5 ton, gas-guzzling Gelandewagen so that is saying something! Now I spend less time driving my son around and more time actually doing things with him. It turns out, I am more than a taxi driver.
I have increased hours with Max tossing the football around, playing basketball, walking the dogs, and helping with homework. Max has not been enthusiastic about hiking. Hiking, though, is a good social distancing activity so I have dragged him on a few excursions, and it seems that he has enjoyed them somewhat!
Also, I have been seeking and fostering opportunities to teach Max. I’ll never know as much as his school teachers in their areas of expertise or as much about golf or basketball as his coaches, but with more time on our hands, now, I can teach Max in other areas. I’ve focused on developing his physical conditioning–running regularly with him and introducing him to lifting weights. Max learned to use a wrench and gator grip socket when we assembled the weight bench, and I showed him how to use a power drill on another project. I’ve taught him how to wash a car properly. Under the hood, I’ve had Max locate, check, and top-off wiper fluid, steering fluid, oil, and coolant. I also taught him how to check and inflate the vehicle tires to the correct pressure. For his school work, rather than simply scanning sheets myself, I’ve taught Max to scan, save, and attach documents to email to his teachers. Anywhere I look, I am training myself to interact with and teach Max whether in small ways or larger ways.
COVID-19 will pass. The school campus will re-open, and activities will resume. I’ll put on my driving gloves and shuttle Max around, again. However, I will be vigilant not to delude myself into thinking that transporting a child to and from activities led by others is a substitute for being an engaged parent.
P. Gustav Mueller, author of The Present