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Gustav’s Guidelines for Beer Consumption

“Beer is proof God loves us and wants us to be happy.”

Ben Franklin

Despite all the t-shirts and birthday cards that attribute the aforementioned quote to Ben Franklin, he never said that as far as anyone knows. However, Ben allegedly did write something similar about wine so we’ll consider the beer quote as sort of the NIV version of what he actually said. Close enough! 

For the latter half of 2018, I abstained from alcohol due to health concerns.  After subjecting myself to a battery of tests and visits with a plethora of medical professionals, we don’t know much, but we do know that beer ain’t to blame. Accordingly, I’m enjoying beer, again! 

Alas, after going from zero beers to too many beers in 2.8 seconds, I now must recognize that Lent is upon us. It seems a perfect time to establish some written guidelines for beer consumption lest happy nights make for sad mornings.

Gustav’s Guidelines for Beer Consumption

  • Beer may be consumed Thursday through Sunday.
  • If I exceed two beers in one day, I shan’t drink more beer until the next Thursday, at the earliest.
  • I will not keep beer in stock at my house. 

Prost!

P. Gustav Mueller, author of The Present.

P.S. You’ll note these are only my guidelines for beer consumption, not my rules–an important distinction. You’ll further note that while I said beer may be consumed Thursday through Sunday, I did not say beer may not be consumed Monday through Wednesday. Also, I left beer size undefined and made no mention of wine or other libations. Thus, I have adequate loopholes in place…just in case. 😉

Links relevant to this post:

My favorite beer: Hef, by Pueblo Vida Brewing Company in Tucson, Arizona.

My favorite place to have a beer: Casa Film Bar in Tucson, Arizona.

My favorite place to fill a growler on the go: Fresco Pizzeria & Pastaria in Tucson, Arizona.

Benjamin Franklin Museum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

New International Version (NIV) Bible

Lent

In Sickness, Health & Happiness